I pride myself at being an organised individual I suppose that’s the school teacher element of my life that how now been embedded in me however, I haven’t mirrored this at home. It’s not because I haven’t had the time to do so I would say it’s more to do with being incapacitated due to my lack of mobility. I’m due to give birth by elective surgery next week Friday as my twins are breached and have been since week 26. Clearly they are very comfy in this position hence no movement to position themselves head down.
Reflecting back on the day I found out I was pregnant seems like a lifetime ago I must say I’m rather proud with myself for lasting this long. I feel as though I’ve been pregnant for way too long – more than expected at least. In addition to this my anxiety has been under control by continuing to use the different techniques I was given by my therapist and I’m feeling more optimistic than usual.
Being the organised person I am I complied a list of things I need to do at home to ensure the smooth arrival of my twins when they come home. I’m now looking at my list and I have completed about 50% of it. When compiling my list I used Pinterest as a guide to help me. I knew what I needed at home but wasn’t sure if I needed to do anything in particular for the twins and realised I did. My mum and sister have also been a great help in advising what I need so I’m pretty confident my list will be completed in no time.
I had my 36 week scan at the end of this week and was surprised to be informed that one of my twins have changed position. I’m not even sure when this happened and have tried to recall any big movements she has made. So I have one twin still breached with feet facing down and the other twin head facing down. I wanted to give birth naturally but still can’t as one twin is still breached. The good news is they are both a healthy weight – 5.5lbs and 5.3lbs. Hopefully they grow a bit more before they are delivered next week. The bigger the better right??
I had an appointment with my consultant to go through my birth plan. I wanted to deliver twins through a natural birth but due to my hip problems and my twins being breached I will be having an elective caesarean. I would have liked to have a water birth but was informed by my midwife I can only have a caesarean or natural birth.
I have been given Friday 3rd November as my delivery date which will take me to 37 weeks + 3 days. My babies are growing at a good pace and they have strong heartbeats therefore the longer they stay in my stomach and grow the less complications there will be with their development. My consultant said they will weigh on average 5lbs plus when born as they already weigh 4lbs which is great news.
I was rather anxious about this appointment so I prepared a list of questions to ask beforehand. My consultant quickly made me feel at ease as she answered all my questions for me.
People often ask me if I’m excited about having twins and giving birth soon, unfortunately the answer is no. I honestly don’t feel prepared for motherhood even though I have everything ready for the twin’s arrival and I don’t feel excited about having elective surgery – I would have preferred to push naturally. However, one thing I am excited about is getting my body back into shape as mentioned before having all this excess weight lifted off my body. Another thing I’m excited about is not having all the aches and pains all over my body due to baby weight. I suppose my excitement of having twins will come when I hold them in my arms. Every mum I’ve spoken to said that feeling is just indescribable. I am looking forward to that moment.
So, I’m getting rather close to delivery now which I must say I’m really looking forward too. Having all this weight I’m carrying taken off my body will be like a dream come true I’m sure. This week has been rather eventful starting with me blacking out again; the physical pains I’m experiencing getting worse as my bump continues to grow, my mobility becoming somewhat non-existent and my 32-week scan.
I was in my bathroom and felt rather dizzy I then started to feel rather hot. Panic mood set in as I had been here before so I quickly walked to my bedroom to try and lay down in case I blacked out on the floor. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened I didn’t quite make it to my bed and ended up blacking out on the floor in my bedroom. I don’t know how long I was out for but when I came to I called an ambulance not wanting to take any risks with the babies. I was in complete panic mood and couldn’t breathe properly the paramedic I spoke to on the phone was very supportive she stayed on the phone with me until the ambulance arrived. She helped me to calm down where I was then able to remember my breathing techniques for my anxiety which helped me feel much better. I was taken to the maternity ward at the hospital where a number of tests were carried out on me and twins who were absolutely fine.
My aches and pains are getting worse even my fingers are aching me. Crying myself to sleep every night is becoming a regular occurrence. My midwife said the ligaments in your body soften and stretch to prepare body for child birth but I never expected it to be this bad because I’m carrying the weight of two babies I will be experiencing double pain.
Due to my aches and pains my mobility is getting worse I am finding it extremely difficult to walk without the support of my crutches. When I bend my knees, they feel like jelly. My only saving grace is that I don’t have too long to go now. I just have to hang on in there. I have been doing small exercises at home to improve mobility which is difficult as my body feels to heavy but I must try something. Not having control over my body is rather depressing and it makes me anxious about what I’ll look like after giving birth. I am quite lucky I have a husband who is a personal trainer to whip me back into shape.
I had my 32-week scan this week and all is good. Twins are very active and both weigh 3lbs 11oz they are both in a breached position with feet down so it looks like I won’t be having a natural birth after all. The doctor told me it’s highly unlikely that they’ll move to head facing down in the next few weeks but I can discuss birth plan with my consultant.
How can two little mites growing inside you cause you so much pain? It’s week 31 and words cannot begin to describe the pain I am in. My body aches so much I cry most nights. My back, thighs, legs, hips and bum are constantly in pain. Then there is the ankle and feet pain to deal with. Breathing is becoming more and more difficult causing me to be out of breath a lot. I’m actually getting bigger in size, didn’t think this was even possible. There doesn’t look like there’s anymore room for babies to grow.
Have you heard of IT Band Syndrome? Well I found out about this a few days ago. It’s full name is Illiotibial Band Syndrome It’s a severe aching pain you can get in your thighs. It’s the ligament that runs from your hip to your knee and it is very common with runners but pregnant women also suffer from it. As you get heavier during pregnancy you tend to feel the pain when you sleep on your left side and right side which can be very uncomfortable and painful. However, it can be treated pending on how far you are in your pregnancy through exercise. Unfortunately for me due to my mobility issues there isn’t much I can do to treat the pain other than pregnancy massage which eases slightly but my thighs still ache.
Sleepless nights is something every woman who has had a child (or children) has said they’ve experienced especially in the first few months of birth however, I have been having sleepless night since week 22 due to the pains I have been experiencing and have more sleepless nights to look forward to once the girls arrive.
I have used NHS choices baby centre the bump and TAMBA websites to research different ways to make sleeping at night less painful and more comfortable. I have read reviews and joined chat forums with other pregnant women from all over the world and I have tried some of their suggestions but unfortunately nothing has worked. I am slowing down and my physical abilities are non-existent which is hard to muster since I use to go gym three times a week. My legs feel like dead weights and I have to roll on my side in order to sit in an upright position. I have about 6 weeks left to go and trying my best to hang on in there.
I booked another pregnancy massage as the last time was so good my back felt brand new. Once again I left like I had new body parts. The masseuse managed to help ease the pain in my thighs which is exactly what I needed. I slept much better that night. If you’re interested in pregnancy massage I highly recommend it but do speak with your doctor first. Always check the masseuse is qualified to carryout pregnant massage to ‘prevent any complications with you and baby (babies). If you are based in London I would highly recommend Marta Aesthetics who is based in Knightsbridge and reasonably price. Alternatively you can also find offers for pregnancy massage on the Treatwell and Groupon websites.
Funny enough I have not been experiencing episodes of anxiety due to my sleepless nights. What I have been doing to prevent anxiousness is meditation, taking long deep breaths to help me to relax somewhat which has been very beneficial. I use a 10min YouTube video especially for anxiety which I use when laying in bed or during the day sitting on my yoga mat. This technique really works for me and I’m sure I’ll continue to use it after I give birth. If you have anxiety or panic attacks you should try this it really does work but make sure you are fully relaxed and have complete quiet when meditating to enjoy the full benefits of this exercise.
It’ been a busy first full week in September. I returned to work, had my first pregnancy massage and had an appointment with the twin’s consultant at the hospital.
Firstly, I returned to work for one week. I was feeling rather anxious about this after being off for 6 weeks but it went ok. My colleagues were really supportive and helpful however, I’m glad it was only a week as standing and walking around was taking its toll on my feet and ankles which have swelled even more so over the last couple of weeks. I didn’t think them getting any fatter was possible. I look like I have elephant’s feet.
Had my first pregnancy massage this week and it was absolutely heavenly. I have been suffering with awful back pain in the middle of my back which is at its worst during the night. For the past month I have searched online for pregnancy massage with someone who is experienced in this type of massage and not too far from home as travelling is becoming more and more difficult especially on crutches. The session lasted an hour and I actually felt fantastic afterwards. All the aches and pains in my back, shoulders and neck were gone I couldn’t believe it. It was like I had gone online and purchased a new back from Amazon – that’s how good I felt. I wish I had done this sooner I will definitely be going back again.
This week was my second appointment at the twin’s clinic. However, it didn’t go to well for me. My consultant said she is putting me on blood thinning medication which involves injecting a needle into my stomach everyday until I give birth and a further 6 weeks after giving birth due to my mobility problems, age and having twins. This is to avoid getting blood clots. She then went on to tell me she will be monitoring my mobility and if it doesn’t improve I will have to use a wheelchair. I was absolutely horrified at hearing this. A wheelchair, really?? There must be another option I thought.
So, here we go again overwhelming feelings of anxiety started to kick into effect. I had been managing it so well until this day. It got even worse when I researched blood thinning injections online and the images I saw of people’s stomach – the bruising from the injections were terrible. I’m terrified of needles and knew I wouldn’t go through with injecting myself. I found some alternative blood thinning tablets to take such as Warfarin but this can not be taken during pregnancy. I can’t believe with all the technology and research facilities we have in the world a doctor has not yet come up with an oral drug for blood thinning during pregnancy. I’m sure there are thousands of pregnant women out there scared of neeedles like me.
It’s September 1st and anxiety mode has kicked in again. This week as I had my 28-week scan (third trimester). I have tried to somewhat program myself not to think negative thought when I have scans but unfortunately, I failed miserably in this department. The 28-week scan is also known as the growth scan to check that your baby is growing normally. You will be checked for the following:
-stretches and flexes
-baby moves arms and legs frequently
-opens and closes their hands
-makes breathing movements
I was prepared for the length of time my scan would take as I’m having twins and each baby needs to be measured individually. I thought it was take 2 hours like the times before but this time only took 55 minute which made me feel less anxious.
The scan went really well and the twins are growing at the right speed one girl is bigger than the other by 2cm but nothing major to worry about. Once again, I left the scan feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders knowing my babies are ok.
My lovely sisters and cousin organised me and my husband a reveal party as mentioned in last month’s blog. What a wonderful day I had. I’ve been feeling so down lately so this is what I needed. My husband however, thought it a bit weird that men attend such events which are normally for women however he took part in the fun games planned for us. I can now reveal the gender of our twins – we are having TWO girls!! It was fun for us watching our friends and family guess the gender of our babies. Our cake was used as the reveal. We had two-tiers of pink sponge. Even though I wanted two boys I am still happy I am having girls as long as they are healthy is all that matters to me.