It’s the month of August and I’m feeling very heavy and very tired I nap 2-3 times a day something I could never do before. My anxiety is slightly more manageable as I’m using the right tools when needed. I must say I am not feeling as anxious as I use to feel in the earlier stages of my pregnancy and I think that’s because I have changed my mind set and think more positive thoughts instead of negative thoughts which has helped to reduce my levels of worrying and feeling anxious all the time.
I had my third physiotherapy session this week when I arrived at the hospital I was waddling a little from left to right like a duck as I do due to the weight of the babies causing me physical problems with the right side of my body. My physiotherapist asked why I was walking like that and I told her I do most of the time and have been for the last few months. She hadn’t seen this before and told me to my shock horror I would need to use crutches to prevent any permanent damage to my hip. I thought she was joking at first but when she left and came back with the crutches I knew she was being serious. At that precise moment I remember wanting to cry. All I kept thinking was how on earth can I be pregnant with twins on crutches. This can’t be happening right now! I managed to compose myself by telling myself it’s for my own good. However, I tried to persuade her not to put me on crutches but when she said to just have a try of them I was determined to prove to her I didn’t need them. So I took the crutches and walked up and down the corridor, I couldn’t believe it I felt so much better I was walking straight, no waddling and I felt no pressure on my lower back, hip or piriformis. I knew I had to use the crutches for my own benefit and just kept telling myself it’s not forever. I started to think more positively about it. I must say I was quite proud of myself as I managed not to have an anxiety attack. Normally I would have reacted badly to such news. This pregnancy has been awful and none of it has been enjoyable. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
I had two midwife appointments this month where my babies heart beats were monitored – good news all around. They both have strong heart beats. I explained to the midwife that the twins are constantly kicking me she said it is normal it’s a good sign which means they’re active and growing. Sometimes I think they are fighting each other in my belly with all the movement that’s taking place (laughter).