My lovely sisters and cousin organised me and my husband a reveal party as mentioned in last month’s blog. What a wonderful day I had. I’ve been feeling so down lately so this is what I needed. My husband however, thought it a bit weird that men attend such events which are normally for women however he took part in the fun games planned for us. I can now reveal the gender of our twins – we are having TWO girls!! It was fun for us watching our friends and family guess the gender of our babies. Our cake was used as the reveal. We had two-tiers of pink sponge. Even though I wanted two boys I am still happy I am having girls as long as they are healthy is all that matters to me.
More tears this week due to aches and pains I was looking forward to having another acupuncture appointment which really helps relieve the pain in my hip and piriformis. I attended this appointment using public transport on my crutches (rather difficult I might say) I got on the bus and started to feel really dizzy and hot. I was sweating and my vision became blurred. I managed to complete my journey but when I got off the bus I still felt quite dizzy and found it difficult to balance on my crutches. I finally made it to the hospital and got in the lift which I remember being awfully packed then everything went black.
I blacked out!
I actually blacked out in the lift! I couldn’t believe it!
I ended up falling with my crutches on top of a man in a wheelchair and knocking my stomach in the process. The next thing I saw was about 10 doctors trying to assist me in the lift on the floor. They were asking me so many questions but I couldn’t answer them all. It was like a scene out of ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ tubes were attached to my chest, my heart and blood pressure were being monitored, lots of bleeping sounds, there were hands everywhere – the list goes on….
To make things worse I ended up having an anxiety attack. I tried my best to use the coping tools I learnt but in this instance they just didn’t work too much was happening at once. I was put onto a stretcher and taken to the birth centre where I was given a scan as I painfully hurt my stomach when I blacked out – thank the lord my babies were ok. I was monitored for a few hours and my blood test results showed very low haemogoblin levels. The doctor said I’m anaemic and need to take iron tablets. My levels should be between 120-150 but mine was 98. What an awful experience this was but the doctors were very helpful and supportive.
This week started off with tears. Lots of tears. I have been in so much pain. My body aches constantly and sleeping is a complete nightmare. Apparently, this is normal during pregnancy but I can only assume women (like myself) carrying twins or multiples must feel even heavier. However, someone’s pain threshold I assume is different for each woman but I can say I undoubtedly have a low pain threshold hence trying cope with pain. I researched online and found suggestions to reduce pain and discomfort and tried them all. They all failed miserably. I try and stay up as late as possible so I sleep less and fall asleep quicker which isn’t healthy as I’m exhausted in the mornings but what’s a girl to do?? I constantly turn in the night on my left side then right side because the sides of my thighs and leg ache and hurt so bad I try my best to distribute my weight. I cry most nights because of the pain. My husband has been extremely supportive by giving me more pillows to sleep on, massaging my thighs and even helping me to have a bath to soak my muscles. Yes, I’ve got to a point where I can’t even get in and out of the bath on my own. I prefer to have baths as standing to have a shower is too much pressure on my hips, legs and ankles.
This week is also my first wedding anniversary I wasn’t in much of a celebratory mood being so big and feeling so heavy along with all the different pains I was feeling all over my body. We did go out for a meal which was nice but I felt so fat. My husband and I had previously booked to travel to four different European countries but had to cancel all of them as my doctor felt it not advisable to travel with twins at 27 weeks pregnant with all my health issues. I was rather disappointed as was my husband but that last thing we would have wanted was to be abroad with me needing medical attention so we will do sometime special next year.
It’s the month of August and I’m feeling very heavy and very tired I nap 2-3 times a day something I could never do before. My anxiety is slightly more manageable as I’m using the right tools when needed. I must say I am not feeling as anxious as I use to feel in the earlier stages of my pregnancy and I think that’s because I have changed my mind set and think more positive thoughts instead of negative thoughts which has helped to reduce my levels of worrying and feeling anxious all the time.
I had my third physiotherapy session this week when I arrived at the hospital I was waddling a little from left to right like a duck as I do due to the weight of the babies causing me physical problems with the right side of my body. My physiotherapist asked why I was walking like that and I told her I do most of the time and have been for the last few months. She hadn’t seen this before and told me to my shock horror I would need to use crutches to prevent any permanent damage to my hip. I thought she was joking at first but when she left and came back with the crutches I knew she was being serious. At that precise moment I remember wanting to cry. All I kept thinking was how on earth can I be pregnant with twins on crutches. This can’t be happening right now! I managed to compose myself by telling myself it’s for my own good. However, I tried to persuade her not to put me on crutches but when she said to just have a try of them I was determined to prove to her I didn’t need them. So I took the crutches and walked up and down the corridor, I couldn’t believe it I felt so much better I was walking straight, no waddling and I felt no pressure on my lower back, hip or piriformis. I knew I had to use the crutches for my own benefit and just kept telling myself it’s not forever. I started to think more positively about it. I must say I was quite proud of myself as I managed not to have an anxiety attack. Normally I would have reacted badly to such news. This pregnancy has been awful and none of it has been enjoyable. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
I had two midwife appointments this month where my babies heart beats were monitored – good news all around. They both have strong heart beats. I explained to the midwife that the twins are constantly kicking me she said it is normal it’s a good sign which means they’re active and growing. Sometimes I think they are fighting each other in my belly with all the movement that’s taking place (laughter).
I was feeling rather down this week I still had the sharp stabbing pains in my groin area which I had when I first found out I was pregnant. In addition to this my lower back pain was getting worse the pain was becoming unbearable and I was finding it difficult to sleep and walk. And my right leg kept suddenly giving way which made me unbalanced and put pressure on my lower back and hip. The physiotherapy was working but as I put more weight on each week my pains became worse especially in my lower back and piriformis.
One good thing about this week was it was my last week at work for the summer holidays. A 6-week break was exactly what I needed so I could rest my body and reduce the amount of walking I was doing. Once again, I was advised to take paracetamol (pain relief tablets) by my doctor and midwife to help relieve aches and pains but refused to. Some people would think I’m just making myself suffer but I just didn’t feel comfortable taking medication whilst pregnant. I suppose it’s really to do with my anxiety and thinking something bad might happen to my twins if I take it.
Panic mode again…..
I had my 20-week scan known as the anomaly scan, which takes a close look at your baby and your womb (uterus). The sonographer carrying out the scan will check that your baby is developing normally, and look at where your placenta is lying. This scan took quite a long time as the twins were being very active and wouldn’t keep still long enough to get the correct measurements. I also had an internal scan to check where my placentas were sitting. One placenta was high and the other very low which was blocking my cervix. The sonographer explained this will be monitored but if it doesn’t move by the time I’m ready to deliver I would have to have a C-section which is something I have discussed with my husband previously. I would prefer to give birth naturally if possible as C-sections can take a while to heal and I shudder the thought of being in pain whilst breastfeeding twins.
On arrival to the hospital for my scan I felt rather anxious as I found myself hoping and praying not to hear bad news. In actual fact I went into panic mode. My husband as usual always tries to reassure me that everything will be ok, which does help to calm me down a bit, but like any expectant mother you just want to hear everything is going ok regardless. I did try to use different anxiety strategies but I just wasn’t in the right framed of mind to do so during scan. Unfortunately sometimes this happens to me but I still feel I am in control of my feelings which is better than how I was feeling before counselling sessions started. Luckily after having both scans that took over 2 hours the sonographer said everything looks great. Once again, a huge sigh of relief and feeling as though a great weight had been lifted of my shoulders. I have inserted an image above of my twins which we received from the scan.
We also found out the gender of the twins. I wanted two boys or one of each and my husband wanted two girls. When I found out what we were having I told my sisters. The older one of the two thought it would be a nice idea to have a gender reveal party next month where the gender of twins would be revealed to our family and friends. Reveal parties are not very common in this country but are extremely popular in America which is where she got the idea from. It sounded fun and I needed some uplifting in my life so I decided to do some research online and on YouTube. The different videos were great they looked really fun with so many different ideas of how to reveal a baby’s gender. Something exciting to look forward too.
It’s my birthday and I’m not feeling in a celebratory mood my husband suggested dinner with some close friends which was all I could muster to be honest. We had a nice meal but all I wanted to do was sleep which is what I want to do most of the time these days.
I noticed I’m starting to really slow down and thank god work is quieting down and preparing for the summer holidays school break. I’m sleeping much more often than usual and feeling overwhelming anxious. I keep thinking something bad is going to happen to me and my babies I try to think positive thoughts but find it hard.
I was researching anxiety during pregnancy online and found that most women in their first trimester experience some episodes of anxiousness especially first time mums who have never experienced childbirth before. This made me feel a bit more relaxed knowing it’s not only me. However, I decided to do something different this month I went on YouTube to find videos of pregnant women coping with anxiety. This gave me a really great insight into anxiety and how women with it felt, what they did to cope and the importance of having support around you from family/friends. Anxiety is not something to be ashamed or embarrassed about there are support groups and forums out there that you can talk too. Speak to your doctor or midwife also as they can help. There is a lot of information out there on the web here are a few useful links but if you’re link me join a pregnancy app and talk to different women from all over the works about your pregnancy it’s really helpful: